Clicking those links one by one, it leaded me to a different dream, a different fairy tale, a different perspective, a different blog world. I was literally exposed to various writings, amazing, breathtaking stories, testimonies and confessions that touch the deep cores of my heart. Interesting vocabularies that are imply made dictionary visible to me as I cried for help due to the lack of knowledge. It made the dim bulb around me lighted as I go on sentence over sentence. It pulled open my eyes, wider than ever, I was attracted and addicted, I was begging for more of these pleasant materials.

And at the end of the long hours, my eyes sore claiming for rest. I lay back closing my eyes, ready for a nap to ease the pain. Well, many thoughts bubbled out before my mind was thoroughly shut down. They were sad thoughts, thoughts that weaken my potential of becoming a journalist, thoughts that question my writing abilities. It just dawn on me that I wasn't good enough, no one is gonna read my literature compare to theirs. Who would want to jump into a shallow pool when there's a deep large pool placed beside it? Maybe I should just continue to be a faithful reader, enjoying the arts of J.K Rowling, Stephanie Meyer, C.S Lewis and other academy award authors. I blurted out a huge deep sign and my room disappear from my sight.

In the morning, I sat at the back of the car seat, I felt thankful that each morning as I come to school, I had a purpose, a direction to go to, that was my CF prayer meeting. To gather and commit our problems first thing of the day into the hands of God was a blessing. I recall the first time I attended this meeting, when I was assign to pray, I trembled and panicked, my words were all mixed up in a tangle of wrong order, I felt that it was the worst prayer and shame was written all over my face. But I do remember what had encourage me and build up my confidence, it was one of my church members who said, "It doesn't matter how flowery or how bombastic your prayer words are, a good prayer is a prayer that comes out of your heart, not your mouth nor your brain." Even a simple prayer that says "Father, You're beautiful." or "I surrender my life to You" could roll down your tears.

And you know what, it doesn't matter how great my writing skills or vocabularies are, if i write it with all my heart, I'm sure it is gonna be an amazing art piece. I remember a person who told me that he believe in Christ after reading my post and wished to attend a church, and one who told me I made her feel the love of God again, also the one that hope I could update more often. Why would I want to stop writing the miracles of God and my encounter of His amazing love and prevent myself from passing His gospel through writing. Those writers may be good in writing fairy tales and imagination, but i was in a different field. I'm declaring His mighty works and true testimonies. And that is what only matters :)